Intentionality and Boldness Are So Much Fun
Fifteen years ago, I asked a lifelong friend, “How long do I have to do this?” I was referring to the stresses of life and the feeling that there had to be something more. Even though I was filling many roles, keeping some of my values close to my heart, I was allowing external circumstances and the environment to have priority over me. There was a time when my thoughts were on just getting by and I was very proud that I was handling everything. But I was not happy that every day was the same and I was feeling worn out with just enough energy to get by, and there was no role that could change. We all have a tendency to fill our time, to get by, and to prioritize others to our own detriment. Are you caught putting yourself last as I was? Much of it is based on our intentions. Mediocre intentions bring mediocre results. The dictionary defines mediocrity as “the quality or state of being just average. When you are in the middle of your class and don’t really do anything to stand out or do better, this is an example of mediocrity.” Defining your intentions brings results. Asserting your intentions, and believing in what you want can pull you out of mediocrity. There’s a boldness to putting yourself as a priority. That boldness can help you live the life you want to live, allowing you to give more of your authentic self in your other roles. If you feel that you are just living in a different life, or having average performance within your roles (career, partner, family) and you don’t know why or you are just tired of drifting, then it’s time to look at the seeds, the thoughts that are growing into the results you are harvesting. Shift your thoughts of getting by to living with intention and boldness.
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“It’s not what you think you are, but what you think, you are.” Unknown
Read that again and pause at the commas. You have heard that when you are positive, you expect positive results, and when you are negative, you expect negative results. We do attract what we think because that is what we are putting our attention on. Belief --> Expectation --> Attraction I ask my clients who they are. I want to hear who, not what. What, is their name and occupation. How often do we put ourselves into boxes rather than connecting to our hearts? As we confine ourselves like this, we drift from our joy. Our joy comes from connecting to what we value. Our values are who we are. It’s time to make time for who we are, not what we are. Take a few moments to write down the adjectives that describe you, the words you would use to create the picture of you. Now, when you are in the presence of others, - whether it’s someone new, old friends or family, - think of your unique values and characteristics. Your beliefs will either support you or bring contrast to you. Feel your thoughts and be aware of what and who you attract. What are you thinking? Is it who you are? Alaine Nolt, Certified Health & Life Coach Being active is fun. It increases our dopamine which is good for our health.
But many of us think of being active as something we have to do rather than what we want to do. When we want to do something, we feel encouraged, enthusiastic, and optimistic. The secret is in incorporating these feelings into something we don’t want to do. I love going to the gym; I got hooked at 16 yrs. old, wanting to do what y 23 yr. old best friend was doing. That love of physical activity gradually expanded to swimming, tennis, bicycling, running, and canyoneering. You can tell I’m an outdoor person. I will tag along on climbing days with my friends so that I can get in a good hike and do some work in nature. ANY activity that moves our body is exercise. The miracle of a body requires movement just as sleep is necessary and eating for nutrition. After understanding that being active and getting exercise can be fun, the next obstacle to overcome is the perceived lack of time. Ask yourself if it’s true that there is no time to get your body moving. It is true that our schedules are filled. But is each calendar-filling item actually necessary or only perceived to be? Some tips to help you fit physical activity into your calendar: · Grab 5 minutes per hour to move; it can be as simple as stretching or walking around the room. · Need a reason to do housework? It counts as being active! · Play with your children, interacting with them rather than observing them. · Substitute the 10–20-minute drive-through line with a 10-minute exercise video. · Get a partner! It’s easy to say no to ourselves but difficult to say no to someone else. Mark Hyman, MD: “True health involves a combined approach, using many diet and lifestyle practices, in which movement plays an important role.” 1. Do what you loved to do as a child and modify if necessary. 2. Take a class in something totally new: pickleball, yoga, or stretching. The bonus is in meeting new people. 3. Dance in the kitchen or do the stairs in your house several times. 4. Go somewhere you live near and have never seen. Walk for 20-30 minutes and explore. 5. Create a group and be the leader of what you love. Bring a smile to yourself as it is FUN to MOVE! And have gratitude for knowing you are doing good for your health. #stress #stressmanagement #lifestylemedicine #transitionalcoaching #lifecoach #healthcoach #fun What Do You Know?
When we have knowledge about something, we usually love to share it. When we don’t have relevant knowledge, we often want others to think we do. And that can create feelings of anxiety. How can you overcome this? There is usually an opportunity to learn – by listening. Practicing the art of listening is actually a way to gain knowledge so there is no need to present yourself as not knowing or all knowing. It’s interesting to observe ourselves as we listen and engage in conversations. When, how, and what, triggers feelings of anxiety? It is often brought on by our feelings of inadequacy, not feelings of value. This self-awareness can offer an opportunity to dissolve our anxiety when we recognize that our behavior is based only on a belief. Is this belief true? The belief that now is being tested as the adrenaline increases either from the feeling of remaining silent or from the need to contribute. Think of what the gain is to just listen as opposed to having to talk. Give yourself time in the moment to ask yourself what you know and acknowledge that you have the choice of listening or talking. Is there something of value for you to contribute? Will you contribute more to yourself and others, by simply listening? Ask yourself what do you know and be honest with what you don’t know. Are you distracted throughout the day?
Like most people, you probably look at distractions as being negative. Believe it or not, they can be a good thing. What kinds of distractions? A few GOOD examples are moving the body, spending time with a pet, listening to music, getting water, looking outside, and taking a short walk. If time permits, going to the gym or taking a class is excellent. These kinds of distractions can be used to actually increase your productivity and efficiency. When you need to change your state of mind, focus on the task at hand and clear the fog, use a distraction to help center your thinking. It’s a way of decluttering your head that is essential to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. How can you make the best use of distractions? It starts with knowing your most productive and least productive parts of each day. Most productive time: When can you put your head down into your work, project, or priority? This is when you dig in, when your strength is unwavering. In this productive time, the most important things must be accomplished. Least productive time: This is when it is most difficult to stay focused. Your mind wanders, maybe you feel fidgety, and there are frequent interruptions in your thinking and focusing. Now, enter in the distractions! Allow time to change state, as you progress through the most and least productive times. Distractions fill what is depleted, supplying the energy you need to move forward. They realign the brain, refocus the eyes, and reduce blood pressure. Pull yourself back in line each day, throughout the day, with much needed distractions. Do you take time to reflect on the day, the week, and get lost in the past?
We are easily consumed by our thoughts of how the past should have been different. The past is often filled with regret, sadness, and anxiety. It is possible to think of the past with positive, beautiful, and peaceful thoughts. It will take some time to adjust your beliefs, but it is possible. Write down your past stressors and think in terms of primary areas: career, family, money, and health. The next step is to write down any positive takeaway from this past experience. At any time, did this past stress bring joy? Because of it, think of what you have now that was ultimately a benefit from the past loss, mistake, or regret. Think about what changed. What new perspective are you willing to try to lessen the stress? Hold on to the value this stress brought to you. For a moment, feel the burden and the attachment to the negative thought. When you feel the pain, replace the thought with the joy. This will take practice but you will be able to feel the stress as only a tender memory, rather than the pain. Sweep, declutter, move through what you’re holding onto. This means to think of the past, and find the gratitude in the experience. No matter what the pain, there is a lesson that we gained. This lesson continues with us into the next phase, the next transition. Think of the cherished memories, the thoughts that lift you up, bring a smile, and a wish for more. Our habits can change with intention. It is time to let go of what holds you back, causing stress and anxiety. Know that it is in your control to bring into thought, what you really want. A beautiful story is of a client whose father would always pick up coins off of the street. As a child, she did not like her dad picking up all of the “dirty coins” but he would encourage her to not overlook them. Now that he has passed, when she sees a coin, she remembers complaining to her Dad. Through the above exercise, she now picks up loose coins and saves them. Her new perspective came through thinking that when she sees a coin, it’s when her Dad is with her. She thinks immediately to her thought at the moment she saw the coin. She realizes it’s when she is thinking of something that her Dad was good at or when she had his support. It’s no longer trash but wisdom and strength guiding her. It’s no secret that sugar is addictive. Sure, the foods can be quite tasty, but it delivers only a quick energy boost, leaving you feeling deprived soon after. Filler foods do just that, fill you up for a very short time, and leave you feeling lethargic.
On the other hand, nutritional foods fill you up and keep you satisfied. That’s why I’ve always advocated for foods that give you sustained energy. When I was shopping with my children when they were young, they would want certain items. I would ask one question of their choices, “Is it food or is it filler?” They learned the difference and didn’t feel deprived. How do you tell the difference? The answer lies in how you feel both 30 minutes after and two hours after eating. Mark Hyman, MD states, “How do we shift from an energy lacking diet to an energy producing one? Focus on eating foods like blueberries, pomegranate seeds, grass-fed meat, broccoli, extra virgin olive oil, avocados, and almonds.” These and other natural super foods will leave you feeling satisfied with a natural energy. Check out excellent recipes from Dr. Hyman. Try it yourself and see how you feel. Start simply by substituting a food that leaves you empty with one that fills you up. JJ Virgin writes, “The right ingredients make a world of a difference in the level of satisfaction you get from your food. That's why you can eat a whole sleeve of Oreos® and never feel full—it's made with a bunch of junk that encourages you to reach for more. Cookies made with real, whole foods, like my Lemon Almond Coconut Cookies, fill you up faster and keep you satisfied longer, so you don't end up feeling bloated and guilty when you're done.” JJ is a great source for healthy recipes that taste good and are easy to make. Step one: COLOR! One way to get healthier foods in your diet is to get as many colors on your plate or in your bowl as possible. Colorful foods are packed with nutrients! Adding color may also lower the risk of cognitive decline by up to 20%. What kinds of colors? Berries, leafy greens, citrus, orange and yellow peppers, radishes, and eggplant just to name a few. As more color is incorporated, the sugar cravings will decrease. Nutrients are filling and energy sustaining. Have fun, be creative, and be willing to try new things. #lifestylemedicine #stressmanagement #sugar #JJVirgin #markhymanmd #stressreduction #healthandwellness #habitsofhealth I’m attracted to any art that is of beautiful settings and scenes that make me feel like I want to be there.
This happened just the other day. I looked up and had the feeling that I was living in a painting! I was surrounded by beauty and peace and knew I was exactly where I had imagined myself to be. I realized we don’t often stand back and appreciate what we see and what we have. And when we do observe our surroundings, are we happy with what’s in front of us? Or are we only looking for the flaws and what we don’t like? The first time I felt like I was in a painting, was when I was in Aspen, Colorado, in the fall. I was looking at the changing colors of the leaves. The aspens were a vibrant gold color, and the sun was illuminating them. I was standing in the middle of immense trees and felt like I literally was a part of them. Sitting outside, doing my work, with my dog by my side, was a moment being immersed in the perfection of reality. I challenged myself then to capture several moments, every day, when I am amazed with the present and how I am surrounded by perfection. And I understand that I have the paint brush in MY hand, no one else is creating what I see and feel at a specific moment. No matter if it’s a time at work, with family, or alone in the car, it is a time we have created with intention. It all comes down to attitude. Attitude is vital to the actions we take and how we respond to our day. When we are unhappy with the present, we tend to stay stuck ruminating on our lack. That is the opportunity to embrace with gratitude, all that we have and the beauty of it. I hope that you see the beauty in your artwork, the moments you are creating. Stand back, look with admiration, and feel inspiration and contentment at the paintings in which you find yourself. “Take the time to focus on what’s important to you. It’s not about filling up the moments, it’s about the moments that fill you up.” Alaine Nolt
Our calendars are full. We sacrifice our sleep, our nutrition, our relationships, our body, and our mind, as we fill up our hours with obligations. Each of us has specific beliefs relative to success that we apply to all segments of our life. What do you believe? Be aware of when you are feeling so good. When we are content, happy, trusting, and feeling light, these are the moments that we want in more quantity. Be aware of the excuses you make for when your heart is hurting. When we allow ourselves to override our own intuition, we lose our connection to our heart and soul, and our truth. How can you figure out what you believe, your truth? Think of 3 things that are extremely valuable to you. These “things” are a vast list with some examples being family, money, health, spirituality, and career. Think of how many hours you devote to these 3 things. Now think of what you could give less time to that takes up your schedule but has little or no value. This exercise might be surprising to some of you. We are conditioned to filling our days without very much thought about how. We say yes, easily. We say yes with feelings of guilt, mistrust, comparison, anxiety. Our days are filled with unnecessary stress based on actions that are created from our thoughts. We want to ask ourselves, is this thought about how I fill my days true to who I am and what I believe? Do your thoughts make you feel good? If not, what if you changed your thoughts to match what is true for you. If family is valuable, and they receive the least amount of your time, then your anxiety will create actions and results that you are dissatisfied with. Turn your attention to giving more time to you those things that fill you up. It’s easy, truly. A slide show of memories played continuously throughout this morning’s walk. And yet, there was an awareness of the vision of everything along the path, observing, listening to the sounds, feeling the textures of nature, the feel of the air, the magnificence of that moment in the still, warm, gentle early morning hour. There was so much to experience.
The walk began with the inspiration of Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie, who suggest taking a walk in nature, in silence, observing without labels, judgement, or distractions, and being still. As I walked, the presence of my Dad was with me. He passed away in 1994, too early in both his opinion and mine. Tears welled up in my eyes as I allowed myself to be still, to be aware, to absorb the outstanding life that I am a part of. This morning I recognized how my Dad taught me this awareness, this spiritual connection, by teaching me to feel deeper, in my heart and soul, and that there is a constant of love, kindness, peace, and the connection with all as one. When we feel the heaviness of life, it’s time to explore. Removing our labels, our expectations, our stories, is vital to our survival. I didn’t always know this peace and the fact that it is always there. Growing up in California had its natural wild side. My Dad loved clearing our property himself, in our “meadow” (acres filled with oak trees, wild sage, weeds, and sumac) with the creek that would run after a hard rain. I now understand that those hours in nature were integral to his health; the well being of his mind, body, and spirit. My Dad and I walked together today, in spirit and heart, and I understood him in his perfection. Be still. Listen, smell, and see what we are a part of and relax. Be gentle with yourselves. Be gentle with others and be gentle with our surroundings and everything it contains. As we breathe and feel contentment, if even for a single moment, we relax into everything that is FOR us. Our constant that we always have is love, kindness, and peace. Breathe. And take a walk. |
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